Saturday, March 28, 2009

Handling Difficult Conversations With Positive Statements

No matter how hard we may try, there's just no way to avoid some difficult conversations. However, there are positive things you can say and do to help you handle them better.




Your first response may be to change the subject when faced with a difficult discussion. This won't solve the problem or heal the hurt that caused the situation in the first place. It's better to take a deep breath, gather your thoughts, and face the difficulty now rather than later.




Remember it's not your job to fix the situation unless you were directly involved. People sometimes just need a friend to listen when they're going through tough circumstances. They really don't want you to fix things for them.




Being available to listen is sometimes the best way to show your friend that you care.




If the situation requires you to talk with someone going through difficulties, try to put yourself in the other person's shoes. What would you want a friend to say to you if you were in that situation? In all likelihood, they would like to hear the same thing.




Here are some positive ways to handle difficult conversations:




1. Try to help them identify the problem they're facing. Maybe they're upset over something that's not related to the perceived problem. Listen to your friend as they talk, trying to ask questions to help them determine the real problem.




2. Avoid acting like you know what will happen next. If your friend's going through a difficult time in a relationship, don't tell them everything will work out. Instead, tell them "I'm available to you whenever you want to talk."




3. Ask general questions rather than expecting them to answer questions they may not be ready to answer. "How's it going?" is a better question than asking them if they've moved out of their home after a breakup.




* Let them bring up additional topics when they feel comfortable doing so.




4. Refrain from judging others. Rather than saying you've never trusted a particular company when your friend has just lost a large sum of money, you might want to ask, "Is there anything I can do to help?" Most likely they'll tell you no, but will appreciate your asking.




5. Your similar situation isn't the same as theirs. While it may be true that you've lost a job or a pet, it's not the same thing as losing a loved one.




* Try to encourage your friend to think about the good times rather than their loss.




6. Acknowledge your friend's feelings. "I understand that you were hurt by what they said. I would be hurt, too" is better than telling your friend, "There's no reason to be upset about that." Acknowledge and validate their feelings, and they'll feel better.




7. Think about what your friend needs most. It may be to have someone tell them "I love you." Try to be alert to your friend's unspoken needs. Be reassuring when possible regardless if your friend has spoken a need or not.




8. Let others know you understand their point of view. Telling someone, "This sounds important to you" doesn't mean you'll go along with what they want, but at least you acknowledge what they believe to be the best solution.




9. Stay focused on the problem and don't get dragged into a fight. If they verbally attack, don't take the bait. "I see you're upset, and I'm sorry. Maybe we should take a few minutes for each of us to calm down."




It's important to remember that no matter what the difficult situation happens to be, it's better to listen more than talk. When you do talk, use the positive statements you find here to help you handle the conversation in a supportive and caring way.


Maurice Castle first learned about Oneness & deeksha from the Oneness University in Fiji. Oneness helps improve your relationships in life - learn more at http://OnenessBlessingFiji.com

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Natural Dog Food

Feeding your dog natural food is one of the best ways to take care of your pet. According to studies, this type of diet can significantly increase your dog???s energy level, and at the same time, it helps maximize your pet???s health and reproductive capacity.




Here are additional facts about natural dog foods:




??? Natural dog food primarily consists of uncooked meat, bones, organs, and other vegetable material. Raw foods are said to be more biologically appropriate for dogs.




??? In order to achieve a balanced and complete diet, it is essential that the dog be given a wide variety of natural food choices. This includes meats, fat, chicken, eggs, dairy products, and bones.




??? Your dog???s diet should consist of at least 60 to 80 percent raw meat. The other 20 or 40 percent should contain vegetable, fruits, eggs, and dairy products.




??? Some researches have shown that raw and natural diet has a dental hygiene benefits to pets. It is said that chewing raw meats strengthens the jaws and neck of the animal. Apart from this, cartilages, tendons, as well as ligaments work as a natural dental floss.




??? Some pet owners who practice natural feeding commonly grinds the bones in order to avoid risk of dental fractures and intestinal perforations.


You can view more information at Barf.

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